So Far…So What?

Last summer, my brother was diagnosed with diabetes after going to the hospital.  It was an eye-opener for me.  I had been diagnosed with diabetes a few years earlier but told no one; I took the medicine and hid in silence.  His diagnosis served as a wakeup call for me to do something about my health.  I just wasn’t sure I had it in me.

I had to stop making excuses. I had to begin by acknowledging my past mistakes. You see, I never cared about my health. I just figured it would always be bad.  After all, my family had one of those health histories that would make medical researchers cringe.   Is it any wonder why I gave up on living a healthy life.

When I look back, I have to say that my mom’s sudden passing left me in despair.  This was my best friend who could make me move mountains.  She was strong, wore humility as a robe of honor, and her laugh was contagious.  Who in the world was going to know when I was feeling down?  Who was going to braid my hair and give me advice while doing so?  Who was going to teach me how to make those green chicken enchiladas Mike so loved?   As I cried out to the Lord, all I could hear was the still small voice that he would be both my mom and dad.  I felt like such an orphan.   This was seventeen years ago.

Again Sandy, why didn’t you get over it?  Things just seemed to spiral I suppose.  We didn’t have kids. Mike had health issues.  The pressures of managing work, finances, church, family, and marriage took a toll some days.   There was simply no time to care about myself. But I look back and am reminded of a song by Truth that Mike & I based our marriage on:

 

It’s getting harder to remember

Feeling lost and lonely

Cuz it seems we’ve been together for so long

I’ve been living in the moment

So I never stopped to measure all the miles that passed the places where we’ve gone

But when I try to count the ways your love has carried me

It doesn’t take me very long to see

That we have come so far you have been so good

When I traced the road that we have traveled

I’ve gotta tell you, Lord,

I look at where we are

And see where I could have been

That need to say again you’ve been so good

Who would have guessed that we would come so far?

There may be others who have wondered

Why you kept on believing in the person that you knew I could become

But even though I wasn’t worthy

You’re the one whose love was faithful

To complete the work in me that you’d begun

I don’t know the mountains that are left for us to climb

But I know when I reach the end I’ll find

We have come so far you have been so good

When I traced the road that we have traveled

I’ve gotta tell you, Lord,

I look at where we are

And see where I could have been

That need to say again you’ve been so good

Who would have guessed that we would come so far?

Through all of these trials, God has been there.  Even when I was silently despairing inside, God was using all these things to help me grow and heal.  It has been a long process, but thanks be to God for seeing me through it all.

Today, I can proudly say that I am down 45 plus pounds, off of the medications, and feeling better.  My husband, doctor, coach, and so many countless family members and co-workers have encouraged me along the way. Most importantly, it has been my Savior who has carried me … We have come So Far and it has been So Good.  Happy Valentine’s Day!

All my love,
 S

 

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